The fact that my fiancée has to ask this of me, even in jest, is not a good sign.
I'm clumsy. That's just a fact of life for me. Leaning back in my chair sends me sprawling head-first into my bookshelf. Practicing Tae Kwon Do in too-small of a space leaves me with broken toes, too insignificant to do anything about other than limp for a while.
I quit Tae Kwon Do after a couple of years, partially because of my poor feet.
Kicking a wall during a temper tantrum led to a significant broken toe that landed me in a boot for a while. Putting on my socks while standing up led to me breaking my knee in three places.
The car accident that caused my disc protrusion wasn't my fault - a truck rear-ended my tiny Taurus - but still.
And now, my most recent injury...after a week of hard physical labor, from picking up tables and carrying them over my head out of a desire to please not make that awful dragging noise on the floor again to just using the Rug Doctor a little too aggressively, I sprained my thumb.
And then went rafting at midnight under Cumberland Falls.
Look, it's still not my fault. I was getting out of the raft just fine, thank you, except that while I was halfway out, the raft started floating down the river.
I lost my balance and caught myself by shoving my sprained hand a few inches deep into the densely packed sand of the riverbank. I was wearing my brace, and thank goodness for it, because if I hadn't been, I probably would have done a worse number on myself.
I have an avulsion fracture in my thumb now.
Awaiting a call from a specialist.
