I'm tired of the doctors

 I hate elevators. Just not for the reason most people who hate elevators do.

I don't mind small spaces - in fact, I prefer them. I prefer being enclosed in a small space because that makes me feel safe. I'm not scared of heights. I'm not scared of malfunctions. I'm not scared of elevators at all. 

I just hate elevators because it makes my weak, overworked knees feel weird when it comes to a stop at a floor. I always have to brace myself and try to put less pressure on my legs when I see the elevator approaching the correct floor.

Hospital elevators are the worst offenders, because they move so quickly, coming to a stop is a lot more forceful. It's always a smooth ride, but my joints feel it when the slowdown occurs. 

That being said, I took a hospital elevator several times today. Once going up to a consultation with a surgeon for Hidradenitis Surgery Number 6, once going down to go back to the car, and once again going up and down because my mom left her phone in the procedure room after having to put everything down and hold my hand while the doctor poked around the inflamed spot because despite the fact that I'm going to be 29 years old in two months, I still cling to my Mommy.

This will be my second HS surgery since COVID-19 swept across the world. Surgery number 5 was in early August of 2020, a spot removed from the back of my thigh. It was the last day the hospital would be performing non-essential surgeries, and my surgeon graciously squeezed me in with that knowledge so that I didn't have to wait. Now, even though restrictions are still very much in place, I'm having a surgery coming out the other end. My mother was able to come to a small visit with me, not even the actual surgery. We're both fully vaccinated now, and the city is slowly opening back up. 

Also, last year, I started the semester with stitches I had to sit on. This year, the flares are a result of finals week aftermath, so at least I won't be going into class with stitches again. 

I don't know when the surgery will be. COVID restrictions meant scheduling no longer takes place face to face in the office, so I'll be receiving a call at some point either this weekend or on Monday to schedule. This is probably going to get in the way of my physical therapy.

I insist that I'm not old, but I sure do feel old with all the doctors and the injuries and the achy joints.

Being Late

I don't think I'll ever forget the time I questioned authority.

I was in middle school, being punished. Saturday school. The rules were as follows: we arrived at a certain time in the morning, we could not bring food or drinks, we were not fed, and we stayed for several hours while being watched by our teachers. We were instructed to clean the school and we were not allowed to stop. We were not allowed breaks. 

I was in trouble because of how often I was late to school.

I had several Saturday School sessions.

I remember specifically that this was in sixth grade. I was 11 years old, on my knees, scrubbing the stairwell, and I asked the teacher who was watching us, "How come elementary school students don't get Saturday School when they're late?"

"Because they're kids."

"What do you mean?"

"Elementary school students don't drive - their parents do. They can't control when they get to school in the morning."

When someone says something extraordinarily stupid to me, I'm often stunned into silence and unable to come up with a response. This was one of those times. 

I was 11 years old.

Another Update

I keep forgetting this blog exists. But I was looking for instructions on how to make chocolate from cacao nibs at 4:30 in the morning and found a link to Blogspot. Then I went to look at my mom's blog to see if she'd updated and didn't tell me (she did, in December, which means she probably did tell me but I forgot). Then I realized I was signed in, went to check my own blog, weeded out the most embarrassing posts I could find while running on fumes at 4:30 in the morning, and then decided to write a post.

So here I am. And here you are, maybe. If you're reading this, anyway.

A few updates:

1. I'm now obsessed with Legend of Zelda. 
2. I'm no longer working at Hobby Lobby. I left in summer of 2019.
3. I've been diagnosed with high blood pressure.
4. I'm in college now. I started in fall of 2019. 
5. I started collecting antiques...sort of.
6. I'm learning to sew.
7. I'm being treated for ADHD...sort of.
8. My knee healed great. Now I don't limp.
9. Someone rear-ended me just before quarantine and injured my back. Now I waddle.
10. I have straight A's and joined the Phi Theta Kappa International Honor Society.
11. I've been diagnosed with sleep apnea.
12. I have a girlfriend. Our 7th anniversary is on May 12th.
13. I'm being treated for anxiety.

I could go on, but I don't want to. It's almost 5 am.

I say this every time I come back after a long hiatus, but maybe I'll start posting on here again. I dunno.