I'm tired of the doctors

 I hate elevators. Just not for the reason most people who hate elevators do.

I don't mind small spaces - in fact, I prefer them. I prefer being enclosed in a small space because that makes me feel safe. I'm not scared of heights. I'm not scared of malfunctions. I'm not scared of elevators at all. 

I just hate elevators because it makes my weak, overworked knees feel weird when it comes to a stop at a floor. I always have to brace myself and try to put less pressure on my legs when I see the elevator approaching the correct floor.

Hospital elevators are the worst offenders, because they move so quickly, coming to a stop is a lot more forceful. It's always a smooth ride, but my joints feel it when the slowdown occurs. 

That being said, I took a hospital elevator several times today. Once going up to a consultation with a surgeon for Hidradenitis Surgery Number 6, once going down to go back to the car, and once again going up and down because my mom left her phone in the procedure room after having to put everything down and hold my hand while the doctor poked around the inflamed spot because despite the fact that I'm going to be 29 years old in two months, I still cling to my Mommy.

This will be my second HS surgery since COVID-19 swept across the world. Surgery number 5 was in early August of 2020, a spot removed from the back of my thigh. It was the last day the hospital would be performing non-essential surgeries, and my surgeon graciously squeezed me in with that knowledge so that I didn't have to wait. Now, even though restrictions are still very much in place, I'm having a surgery coming out the other end. My mother was able to come to a small visit with me, not even the actual surgery. We're both fully vaccinated now, and the city is slowly opening back up. 

Also, last year, I started the semester with stitches I had to sit on. This year, the flares are a result of finals week aftermath, so at least I won't be going into class with stitches again. 

I don't know when the surgery will be. COVID restrictions meant scheduling no longer takes place face to face in the office, so I'll be receiving a call at some point either this weekend or on Monday to schedule. This is probably going to get in the way of my physical therapy.

I insist that I'm not old, but I sure do feel old with all the doctors and the injuries and the achy joints.